There's been a few times in my life where I've moved to a new place. It always comes after a big decision, a lot of anxiety and a fair amount of planning.
I've been here for almost two months now and it still doesn't really feel as
though I live here. Moving to Tokyo was something I wanted for so long, and now
that I'm finally here, I feel quite deflated.
It takes a lot of time, and a lot to happen in order to really feel
established somewhere. Each time I move to a new place, I have to go through
the same processes. Working out a new routine, a new way to get around, where
to go and what to do. Will I take on any new hobbies here? Who will I be
friends with? When you move to a small place, there are fewer
choices so it becomes much easier to figure these things
out. You can just go with the flow, see what happens. I'm learning
that in a big city, it’s not so easy.
Tokyo is a place in which it’s so easy to be lonely, get lost, feel
like a nobody and achieve very little, I'm realising how much of a challenge it
really is. After feeling so secure in myself and who am I, being a
new person in a city of this scale means that it is not only hard to
establish yourself, but you can quickly loose comfort in your sense of
I am aware that I am just going through a common process. These
feelings are something I have experienced before and recognise. I felt this way
when I moved to Bristol at 22, to Ibaraki at 24 and now, to Tokyo at 26.
In each case, I made the most of my situation and turned them into places I was
able to consider a true home, with true friends and a strong sense of
don't doubt my ability to do it all again, I am just feeling a little
drained. Perhaps there are only so many times in my life I can pack up and
move on somewhere new. I am worried that before my real career has even begun,
I have lost a lot of the enthusiasm and energy I had for it. I had a nice
job and a great group of friends in Ibaraki. Although I hope I can have the
same again in Tokyo, I sometimes don't feel like being responsible for making