Friday, 28 February 2014

going out on a week night

Im struggling to get the work play balance right.

The temptation to go out on a week night is too great. Im trying to be good and stay in - my week fills up quickly - I take Japanese classes 2 nights a week. I find that when I stay in - cook dinner - maybe study a little Japanese - go to bed early - wake up early energised - have time for exercise and a proper breakfast in the morning - I can get to work early, and feel good about my work ethic, my job and my lifestyle.

I can keep this pattern up for 1,2 or 3 days maybe - but then I will always crack. "Oh, I've been so well behaved, I deserve to hang out with my friends tonight". Im so bored - I need fun..MUST PLAY. MUST GIVE INTO THE TEMPTATION TO GO OUT. The weekend is too far away.

There is no way to have an early night when going out on a week night. This theory has been tried and tested many times. To go out and tell yourself you will somehow magically be in bed by 10.30 is called dellusion. It won't happen - the temptation to stay out a bit longer is always too great. Those late hours of a weeknight are always the most fun. As the level of fun heightens - cutting your losses and calling it a night is possibly one of the hardest things to do. This is something which takes a lot of will power. A level of will power I am not equipt with unfortunately.

Then I end up being drunk - or just getting in real late - having that horrible rush the next morning as dragging myself out of bed becomes the most impossible thing in the world. The I have to run to work, stumbling in a little late - or just making it on time in a way that feels like too much of a close shave. Feeling bad that Im not taking my work seriously enough. Today I made a bad impression. I can't let this happen again. I need to get my act together. I need to show that I am serious about this job. I want to be here.

I go through this cycle every week. Cracking by a Wednesday or Thursday. Same old same old. Would my life be better if I really never went out on a week night? Yes, I would save money, I would do better at work and I would be able to focus more on my studies, meaning my Japanese might improve. However, when a Thursday night looks like this, how can you bare to stay in?:

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